The usual number of attendants is two to six. It is customary however, to have a bridesmaid and an usher for every 50 – 55 guests. But it’s your wedding so you can have as many or as few as you want. Remember though that the more you have the harder it is to get everyone to work as a team.

With all your attendants, consider the financial side of things: if they are a distance away, can they afford the travel expenses and if you are not footing the bill, can they afford the cost of their wedding outfits?

Being asked to be a member of the wedding party is a honour and privilege. However, don’t be offended if the first person you ask declines your invitation. Some people dislike being in the limelight.

(Other titles for Chief Bridesmaid: Maid of Honour, a single lady and Matron of Honour, a married lady.)
The roles of Chief Bridesmaid & Best Man are usually given to a family member or best friend. They will spend a lot of time helping with your wedding preparations beforehand and be especially important to you on the day. If the people you would like have other pressing commitments such as children or careers, maybe they would be better suited as bridesmaid or usher. Or, if you have other candidates, there’s nothing stopping you having two Chief Bridesmaids and two Best Men to share the responsibilities; what’s most important is that you have those nearest and dearest with you when you get married.

Both roles are suited to an organised type of person so look at what skills or experience they have that makes them ideal for the role. Apart from taking their responsibilities seriously, other characteristics should include reliability, confidence, sense of humour, calm under pressure and at ease with meeting new people.

There is nothing as sweet as little girls and boys in their cute outfits, but if they are not your children, choose carefully. Bear in mind, little people can be temperamental and be so shy they have an attack of stage fright at the worst possible moment.

Ask yourself if they are mature enough to cope with this big occasion and will understand what is required of them on the day. If you know they’re likely to misbehave then it is probably better to avoid child attendants altogether.

Make your choices, no matter how tough, as soon as possible. This will avoid any assumptions being made by those you will not be choosing and their feelings being hurt.

Don’t feel pressured by what family or friends. Having decided on the right people it’s a good idea to all meet up with them all before the big day to make sure they know from the outset who will be doing what. People can be so taken up with the honour of being asked that they don't fully appreciate the responsibilities and implications.

Many weddings nowadays are funded entirely by the bride and groom who will obviously have the final say in all matters. However, as your wedding is special to your loved ones too, they may consider it an honour to have particular duties before and during your special day. Here we give guidelines of the traditional roles played by members of the wedding party. For the modern wedding they can be shared or entirely interchangeable.