“May you always need one another
- not so much to fill your emptiness,
as to help you know your fullness.”
James Dillet
Freeman’s, Blessing for a Marriage.
”I, [your name] , take you, [your partner’s name], to be my husband, to have
and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.”
'I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, [your
name], may not be joined in matrimony to [your partner’s name].'
'I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, [your name], do take [your partner’s name] to be my lawful wedded husband [wife].'
How much you want to
influence your wedding ceremony is, to a certain extent, up to you. Of course, it is entirely acceptable to go along with the service outlined by
your minister or the registrar.
However, if you want your ceremony to be
individual, you could add some meaningful lines to your vows, or ask someone to
do a reading for you, a special poem for example, that will make it more
memorable for you and your guests.
If it is a civil ceremony you can get involved in practically the whole
service. But remember, there can be no religious content and because it is a
legal procedure you will have to work within the guidelines of the law.
You should work closely with your minister or registrar who needs to approve your
written vows at least a month before the wedding.
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Decide whether you want one wedding vow that you both say or, have individual
vows. If individual, try to keep them both the same length.
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As your vows are a public declaration for others to witness, it is advisable
not to make them too intimate.
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This is your chance to include your children, family and friends
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Write down all the special times you’ve experienced together: how it felt when
you realized you were in love; how your partner has supported you during
difficult times; how you feel marriage will change your life together; how you
see your futures in 30 years time; if you have children, how family life has
been made special
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To inspire you, look in poetry books and books of quotations under “love” and
“marriage” and watch your favourite love story movie; note your feelings and
emotions
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Use a thesaurus to find love related words so not to repeat too often
- Condense your notes to about 120 well
chosen words and expressions
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Include your guests by asking for their blessing and support
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Practice reading it out loud in front of a trusted friend
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When you are happy with it, give a copy to your registrar or minister
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On the day, speak slowly and clearly and loud enough for everyone to hear
Although these ceremonies have no legal effect, they are a
perfect opportunity for married couples of any age to renew their commitment to
each other. Maybe they are celebrating a special anniversary or have married
abroad and wish to celebrate and share their experience with family and friends
when they return to the UK. It is also a way for a couple to give a fresh start
to their marriage if they have been through a period of particular stress or
trauma.
Couples wishing to have a religious ceremony should contact their local church
or religious organisation. Alternatively, the local authority can put you in
touch with a trained celebrant and although they will not be acting in an
official capacity they will be experienced in conducting many different
ceremonies.
 The ceremony can take place almost anywhere and couples are not restricted to
the area where they live. They can choose from numerous locations such as
hotels, stately homes, sports grounds, moored boats, etc, or, in their own
home. (If a Local Authority Celebrant is officiating he or she will be mindful
of any health and safety issues
The actual ceremony is individual and personal to the couple and can involve
the special people in their lives to make it an occasion to be fondly
remembered by all. The format can be varied and may include:
- Introduction and Welcome
- Acknowledgement of any children of the marriage
- Readings by the couple
- Renewal of Vows
- Rededication & exchanging of rings
- Words from family and friends
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Signing of a Souvenir Certificate
If you are writing your own vows, you will of course want to speak about your
lives together so far, not only the highs but also the lows and how you
overcame them; your children, homes and travel. You might want to say what
dreams came true since your first vows and which ones you are still working on.
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